Saturday Morning

In the last 5 years, give or take a year, I have heard a lot of people talk about getting your hair washed while at the Salon, barbershop, Super-Cuts, where ever you go. Everyone talks about this as a phenomenon that exceeds your wildest dreams. When people begin their description of getting their hair cut they always pause..."Oh and she washed my hair, it felt incredible!" For a while I had no idea this was an option. Maybe I was going to some bush league salon but up until my freshman year of college no one had touched my scalp in that way but myself. At first I was a fan. But, slowly this desire to have someone else wash my hair faded.

First of all, I have yet to meet a woman that can keep my collar from getting wet. How hard is it really? My neck is sitting in a slot designed to keep the water in the sink.

Second, It never fails that when it is over they dry your head off with a towel. I always either feel like a young child or a dog. Today when I went to get a trim, as they say in the biz, since I shaved my beard I was beginning to look like a member of the Beatles and since I go to seminary, I did not want to give them any ammunition. I wanted to do a preemptive strike. After the wash (I tried to not have the wash but she looked at me like, "There is no way I'm cutting that rat's nest before I know it is clean") She placed the towel on my head and began to rub, not in a pleasant, ora cleansing way but more like some one cleaning the rims on your car.

At that point I decided that I do not like the wash before a haircut.

After my haircut I went to buy some bread. I have been craving some PB&J's bad. I went to the store to get the supplies. On my way in it was a gauntlet of guilt waiting on me. First, I had the boy scouts trying to get me to buy their popcorn. How did the boy scouts get stuck with popcorn? I would have bought some cookies but popcorn? How about steak? Perfect for the Boyscouts. They could even get a Merit Badge for killing the meat themselves, then selling it in front of a grocery store. The Capitalism Merit Badge.

After I avoided the boys I was blindsided by the most aggressive man I've ever met. "Sir, would you donate a dollar? I know you have money, you are going to buy food right now. The people I'm raising money for don't have that luxury!" I walked in the automatic doors ready to punch the dude in the face. Does he know who I am? I worked with Habitat for Humanity! I have bought homeless guys food before! I am giving!

I forgot about him shortly after aisle 3 when I realized they have a new version of Doritos. I think its a combo of Moutain Dew and Nutella. Super pumped. Anyway, as I was walking out, PB&J ingredients in tow, I had a dollar ready to give, as well as a piece of my mind. I was ready to tell Mr. Homeless Money Raiser Guy that you need to be a lot less offensive in your endeavor to save the homeless community on grocery store at a time.

As I walked out the doors, back into the D-Day of support raising, I gave the dollar and before I could start on my carefully crafted speech, the guy says, "Hey man, people your age don't usually give, I won't forget this." I responded, "Huh?" "Yea man, I won't forget." perplexed I responded, "Yea...No Problem".

So, in review I hate shampoo's at the barber shop and Homeless people.