Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Hypochondria

I have decided to run a 5k. Before your super impressed by my athletic prowess you should probably know that it is 3.1 miles. Every "runner" that I talk to about a 5k acts so casual about it. Occasionally, they are even ashamed by their participation. They say things like; "I'm doing it for charity", "This is my off year from a marathon", "I needed to something to do with my saturday morning at 7am". Regardless, my goal is to do one of these in the next year. Here's the problem.

Last week I decided I would try and run the distance of a 5k (3.1 miles) and just see how I stacked up. If I walked some of it, no big deal. I can work up to it. I'm in no hurry. There is a track near my house, conveniently enough, is 3.1 miles. Perfect!
To my delight, I ran it and did not stop. I'm a champion! What's even better is that I did not feel like I was going to die. Of course my body felt like it just ran three miles but I did not throw up on the track. Runner's don't like that.
The next day I went to work. And by work I mean hosting for a Burger and Beer restaurant. Maybe the most mindless thing I could ever do with my time. I don't want to belittle the world of hosting in general, I'm sure in some restaurants it takes skill and possibly a degree, but at Islands, if your breathing your a professional host or hostess. Without hosts and hostesses what would high school girls do when they are not babysitting? Anyway, while I was at work my right foot began to hurt. As the night progressed it went from a slight pain to, "Oh my dear God is someone stabbing my foot?!" When I was finally allowed to go home I immediately went looking for a diagnosis.Thank you WebMd. This website is the single most terrifying site I have encountered. I simply searched foot pain and I spent the next hour reading about all the possible problems with my foot. Apparently, if I am not careful, I could ruin my foot, have it removed and possibly be handicapped for life. Instead of help I developed a healthy dose of paranoia and have not run since my "diagnosis".
Today, I looked up hypochondria at dictionary.com and it defined it as; an excessive preoccupation with one's health, usually focusing on some particular symptom, as cardiac or gastric problems. Based on that definition I realized that I could be a hypochondriac. This whole week I have been obsessed with my foot. Testing it under ludicrous conditions that I would never encounter. Thinking in my head, if I walk at a brisk pace on this uneven sidewalk and there is no pain or problem I am healed. If I jump up and down violently on these steps and there is no pain than I am OK. If I drop this microwave on my ankle and I can still walk after then I'm ready for an Iron-man.
Based on my scientific tests and an inordinate amount of over the counter pain relievers, I think I'm better.
In other news I still have way to much homework for an individual to accomplish in a given week. In protest I decided to take today off and walk around the Apple Store and Barnes and Noble. That'll show them. Also, my new favorite show is The Big Bang Theory. Give it a chance, its awkward science geeks talking to pretty blondes (sp?). Who doesn't love that? I know I do.

3 comments:

  1. haha - i´ve never heard of that show before. i will have to look into it.

    i hope that your foot is ok.

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  3. I ran my first 5K like two weeks ago. It was the first time I'd run in years and definitely the longest I'd run in my entire life, so I feel your pain.

    I also didn't eat breakfast, stretch, or otherwise do anything else that people typically do to get prepped for these types of things.

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